No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Mini Goldmine

Today was a marvelous day. The whole weekend was amazing. The week before was wonderful. This week is proving to be incredible.

It's so weird to go back to work not overwhelmed or stressed. I haven't felt this way in years. Not that i've hated my job, just....yea. 

Last week AMAZING for makeup scores. I hit the jackpot. If you've been following my Instagram, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Monday my Anastasia Beverly Hills liquid lipsticks were delivered, Wednesday my Too Faced Better Than Chocolate bundle was delivered as WELL as my Urban Decay Ammo eyeshadow palette, Thursday my boy picked me up Mac's new Toledo Victorian and Mac Toledo Oxblood.
Monday
Wednesday. 
Thursday.
All of them. Perfection. 

I have yet to swatch them and it's been almost a week. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? I should get to that. But I've been so caught up with life. Enjoying it. Not stressing about it. This is amazing. It's been awhile since that's happened. 

This weekend. Wait, no. It's Valentine's Day weekend. Maybe Sunday? I don't know. But I will be sharing their amazingness. 

Actually, I have a couple photos I can share until then. Since I got Oxblood and Victoriana first, I took photos and ousted them to my Instagram. 
And here are all the rest. *hearty eyes*
Left to right: Victoriana, Tenor Voice, Oxblood, and Opera. 



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Pure Hollywooooooood

Perhaps that was a bit of an exaggerated title. Or maybe not? Today went surprisingly well and the excitement shows. 

Last night on my blogger Instagram I posted the photo of myself dressed and looking like Heffer from Rocko's Modern Life. It's a little embarrassing. I also posted it on my personal today as a "transformation Tuesday" picture. Anyway, so I posted it to my blogger Instagram and I was surprised by the response it got. As a beginner, I only have 30 followers. Mind you, I only posted the before photo. Here's the before and after side by side. Believe it or not, this is a 40 pound difference. I got down to 50 pounds less, but stress and life, and drinking weighed on me, literally. 
I'm not skinny. I don't know or think I'll ever be skinny. But I will be fit. That's the ultimate goal. And believe me this photo can be deceiving. This was on a good day. After the funeral with all the stress from work all I've done is stress eat. I swear I've gained 8 pounds in just two weeks. Back to the basics. Clean eating and constant training. 
Now if only the rain would stop. The shoes are still amazing. And they match my newest Fabletics leggings. Is it me or do my legs just keep looking more and more fat? This is me being hard on myself again. Note to self: FOCUS. 

The most exciting part of today was the arrival of my long awaited Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipsticks! Of course I went with the most popular ones: Vamp and Pure Hollywood. I was surprised to see Vamp was a lot more brown than I excepted. It's a browner version of Mac's Diva. Still beautiful. 
After the arrival of my ABHs, my makeup bag stash of lipstick looked like this. 

I got around to swatching Pure Hollywood. No photo can capture how beautiful this lipstick is. It's the perfect light pink nude. The formula is massing it doesn't bleed (from the short time I wore it) and it does not transfer. The drying time is minimal. Definitely 10 out of 10. For $20, the shipping could be faster. It took me two weeks to get them. But like I said, WORTH THE WAIT.  I've got to pick up a few more soon. 
New Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick wish list: 

Heathers 
Bloodline 
Lovely 
American Doll
Sad Girl

*A girl can wish, right? *

Monday, February 2, 2015

Welcome back, me.

I'm back! 

And I'll be back regulary from here on. What a stressful weekend. Even after I felt things would get better, they didn't. In fact, for a brief moment they got worse. From Friday until about 2 pm today I dealt with severe anxiety. All weekend I was on the verge a breakdown, making myself sick with stress. I should work on that. 

The only good thing to happen to me Friday was the arrival of my shoes! As you may know by my "title', I love to run. I love running, lipstick, and tattoos. That's just me. 

A little bit of a back story.

I hated running. HATED. It made me miserable. I was slow and I felt even fatter trying to run and failing. A mile would take me 17 minutes on a good day. And that's when I wasn't even "fat." In high school I was always one of the last ones done to run my mile. It was so embarrassing. I was never athletic, but I most defiitely wasn't out of shape enough to be running almost 20 minute miles. Seriously, I let this always bother me. And from high school on I hated running. Actually, there was one summer in high school that I became really athletic and I tried running and somewhat liked it, but I never kept it up. 

After high school I wasn't into getting fit right off the bat. I had one roommate who I worked out with on and off. But nothing ever consistent or rewarding. It wasn't until late 2010 that I started working out like crazy. I had my own workout room in my house. By workout room I pretty much mean an elliptical, Bowflex, free weights, yoga mat, and P90x DVDs. But hey, it did the trick. OKAY. So every night I was working out with no room for excuses since I had all the basics in my home. The following spring I tried running again. I still sucked. I hated it less than the last time I tried though. Mostly it was a glorified walk. That summer was the worst. Lots of changes happened in my life, but lots of good things happened. Ones that would change my life. 

I ended up gaining weight. Lots of weight. 40 pounds, but hell I was happy. Because seriously, who doesn't notice that much weight gain? A happy person, that's who. It wasn't until about November that I realized exactly how much weight I gained. I may not look it (as some people like to tell me), but I was pushing 200 pounds. Yikes. I'm 5'2, for the record. 
From my rave days. I was dressed as Heffer. As in Heffer from Rocko's Modern life. You see it now,   don't you? Lol. 
I think this picture is what did it for me. When you pose you can stand in a position to appear somewhat flattering, but when someone candidly takes a photo of you....yea. I borderline cry when I see this photo. I was so unhealthy. 

Fast forward to fall of 2012. 

After all my ups and downs, weight loss and weight gains, I was back to working out consistently again. My roommate at the time was my workout partner. He and I worked out every day. We'd start out on the treadmills. He would run, I would walk at an incline. I was tired of just being a walker. I wanted to run. So slowly I started running. I was running a 17 minute mile, then a 15, then a 14, then a 13, 12, 11. 11 and a half became my comfort pace. And once in December, I ran an 9.26 minute mile. I felt invincible. I remember almost crying I was so happy. (Clearly I cry a lot) 

It wasn't until my friend introduced my to the REAL Badger Mountain, that I fell in love with trail running. I had never been so liberated running than when I was running that mountain. So of course, I needed trail running shoes. I did my research and found out New Balance shoes were highly rated for trail running. 

I bought my first vibram soled New Balance trail running shoes and fell in love. BETTER than any Nike shoes I've ever owned. Since then I've owned 4 pairs. As of Friday I now have 5. One pair is specifically for my mountain hiking. 

Introducing, my newest New Balance W140s. 
Aren't they beautiful!? Here's the best part.... THEY FREAKING GLOW IN THE DARK. 
To show you this, I turned down the light in my photo. Check them out! 
The 5 year old in me is crying still. Every time I look at them they make me so happy. 

Of course I broke them in with an 8 mile run. 

I was actually planning to run in them Friday, but with all the stress and anxiety that took over, I just couldn't mentally focus on a run. Funny, considering running releases stress. 

Saturday. That's the day I ran. Except I wanted to look cute, duh. BUT! With everything I dealt with last week, I had 47142861 loads of laundry to catch up on which included the workout pants I wanted to wear to match my shoes. You know what that meant, right? Yeppppp. Shopping trip. So I made my way to Macys and JCP clearance rack. I was somewhat disappointed but I did find some cute pants for $24.99. I found 3 to perfectly match my shoes, but I could only bring myself to buy one. I'm going back for the rest though, who am I kidding? Here's the cuteness I came up with Saturday. 
Matching is very very important! 

Pro Tip: Don't be afraid to look cute at the gym. Because the cuter you look, the harder to have to work to make yourself look like shit. Aka a sweaty, red beast. ❤️ 


The end. For now.